You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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