I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
