Whod you bang
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
