I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
