it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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