ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
