4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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