And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize