Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
