i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
