I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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