I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
