This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
