i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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