i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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