so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
