I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
