Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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