put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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