shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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