Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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