i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
