I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
