Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I believe in your delicious
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
