it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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