nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my shit smells like andre
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
