do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
