My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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