I'm lost and stupid without you.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
