I must be too annoying 4 u.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
