using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize