how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
