Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
