i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize