Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
