Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
