I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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