I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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