So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
