for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize