He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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