Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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