I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize