i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize