I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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