your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize