he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sobbing to NWA
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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