just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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