If i come over, it means nothing
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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