i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
