OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
