I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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