can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
