Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
