I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
