CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
