so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize