So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
