this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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